It doesn't get easier....

I always thought being pregnant would be easier then dealing with IF.
I always thought that things would just go so smoothly after everthing I had been through.
I always thought that it would be the first time in 2 1/2 years I could finally RELAX.
I think I was wrong....

RH- blood. Not good. If the baby has a positive blood type (which is most likely) and our blood mixes, then my body will attack it like its not suspose to be there. Fine I need to get some needles to fix the problem. One at 26 weeks and a bunch after I deliver (or no more children for Cj) BUT.....
I'm STILL spotting. Thats right, going on 6 weeks now. Oh it comes and goes, but its there. Everytime I use the potty, I dread the wipe...you never know if it will be pink. And now with it is coming cramps. Could be stretching I suspose.....
My OB cant see me until the 23rd, and my dr only works Mondays. So I have to wait all weekend, then god knows how long before I get another answer, as to whats going on.
I keep thinking, what if its the placenta??? If it is, then that can be bad, with my blood type. Why isn't anyone else worried about my future but me? I hate the dr's here. I was suspose to get a stat u/s, and they couldn't do anything for 2 months!!!! Well hello, I'm sure in 2 months, I'll know if things are progressing the way they should!!!
This might sound horrible, but I'm finding it so hard to get to attached to my little bean. Dont get me wrong, I love it, I'm happy, I wouldn't change it for the world. But my natural defences are worried, that I'm going to be even more hurt in the end. I wish I could just enjoy this time. But honestly, with a new part of my journey, has come new stresses.
I am praying that my little bean is ok.