Where I'm at

So after a few days of thinking, and feeling sorry for myself, I have come to this conclusion. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont mean give up on ttc (although there are some days I'd like to do that too) but no more iui's. I want to move onto ivf. I want to be put on the wait list, and I dont want to have to worry about ttc for atleast 5 months. I need that break.
I'm waiting to hear back from my clinic to see if they will let me do just that. If not, fine, I will go through the motions for iui, but honestly I dont care anymore about any of it. I want to move on. So I know I have said before that ivf scares me, now it kinda excites me (and still scares me a bit). Deep down I never thought iui would work (I know I wrote it too)....and now I want to look towards the future.
I also switched acupuncturists.....maybe that will help. Again, I dont even care.....I just want to enjoy the rest of my summer, and hope I can do it without IF hanging over my head anymore!