Well BFP!!! I have now taken 5 tests (yes, I am crazy) and all said BFP. I cant believe this is happening again, so exciting. I am nervous too, because its so early, but am trying to enjoy every second! I think the sickness that I have had for 2 days now could be a good sign :)
Due date:Oct 28 2010
Thanks everyone for all your support!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
BFP?
So I took a test this morning (10 dpiui) and thought I saw the faintest line. I cant tell if I was seeing things because since then the line has faded. I'm SURE it was there, but also super scared of getting my hopes up.
Let the poas-athon begin!!! I will try and test again this afternoon with a different test, and then tomorrow morning.
Oh my goodness.....could this be??!!
Let the poas-athon begin!!! I will try and test again this afternoon with a different test, and then tomorrow morning.
Oh my goodness.....could this be??!!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
IUI TODAY!!!
Well we did it....now we wait. I dont know how I'm going to be able to hold off from testing the next 2 weeks. Fingers crossed!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Rant!
Ok I need to rant!!!
My wonderful and amazing and sensitive and caring and understanding and loving and considerate SIL is pregnant AGAIN!!!!
She knows of my struggles. She knows what we are doing now. And she calls me up and says this "I'm pregnant again and know this is a miracle that was ment to be, oh how I love this baby. Its too bad you dont know the love of your second child"
Ok first THIS IS HER 12TH PREGNANCY! 12! Not 1, not 2....12! And second I am working on having the love of my second child thank you very much! I'm sorry that DH and I cant just make love and have a baby as a product of that love. No....I'm sorry that I have to plan this out, save the money, lay on a cold table, sit on pins and needles for 2 weeks and then try to be strong when it doesn't work out- again.
Then she proceeds to say "well if it doesn't work out theres always lots of babies in Haiti"......Ok my heart just breaks for what is happening there right now. And it breaks even more for the poor children there....but adoption isn't like going and buying a new pair of shoes!! I'm not going to go and just "pick" a child. Are you kidding me??!! If I am struggling with the idea of IF and iui's here, I'm pretty sure its a 100x bigger struggle to adopt a child.....why does she think that would be easier? Why say anything?
She also complained about a lady that she knows that has 3 kids with 3 different dads. Her exact words were "um birth control is cheap, use it"......she has 2 different kids with 2 different dads....please someone explain how this is different. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this at all, but on what grounds does she have to complain about it? And again this is her 12th pregnancy.
She calls like 6 times a day to 'brag' about her being pregnant. I cant take it anymore. I tried talking to her before, I have hung up on her millions of times, and now I just dont answer the phone....but that doesn't stop the texts and e-mails that say "I'm pregnant :) "
I thought I was handling this second time around pretty good so far, but now I am just feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks to you- you know who you are- for bringing me down, in a time when I was doing ok with everything. Its too bad that not all of us can have as perfect lives as you. Enjoy your pregnancy and baby that was made out of love, and please PLEASE stop calling me to complain about it!
And maybe, just maybe one day the second sentence of this post wont be written with sarcasm.
My wonderful and amazing and sensitive and caring and understanding and loving and considerate SIL is pregnant AGAIN!!!!
She knows of my struggles. She knows what we are doing now. And she calls me up and says this "I'm pregnant again and know this is a miracle that was ment to be, oh how I love this baby. Its too bad you dont know the love of your second child"
Ok first THIS IS HER 12TH PREGNANCY! 12! Not 1, not 2....12! And second I am working on having the love of my second child thank you very much! I'm sorry that DH and I cant just make love and have a baby as a product of that love. No....I'm sorry that I have to plan this out, save the money, lay on a cold table, sit on pins and needles for 2 weeks and then try to be strong when it doesn't work out- again.
Then she proceeds to say "well if it doesn't work out theres always lots of babies in Haiti"......Ok my heart just breaks for what is happening there right now. And it breaks even more for the poor children there....but adoption isn't like going and buying a new pair of shoes!! I'm not going to go and just "pick" a child. Are you kidding me??!! If I am struggling with the idea of IF and iui's here, I'm pretty sure its a 100x bigger struggle to adopt a child.....why does she think that would be easier? Why say anything?
She also complained about a lady that she knows that has 3 kids with 3 different dads. Her exact words were "um birth control is cheap, use it"......she has 2 different kids with 2 different dads....please someone explain how this is different. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this at all, but on what grounds does she have to complain about it? And again this is her 12th pregnancy.
She calls like 6 times a day to 'brag' about her being pregnant. I cant take it anymore. I tried talking to her before, I have hung up on her millions of times, and now I just dont answer the phone....but that doesn't stop the texts and e-mails that say "I'm pregnant :) "
I thought I was handling this second time around pretty good so far, but now I am just feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks to you- you know who you are- for bringing me down, in a time when I was doing ok with everything. Its too bad that not all of us can have as perfect lives as you. Enjoy your pregnancy and baby that was made out of love, and please PLEASE stop calling me to complain about it!
And maybe, just maybe one day the second sentence of this post wont be written with sarcasm.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
CD 1, am I really ready for this roller coaster ride again?
Well CD 1. I start clomid in 2 more days. I called the clinic to set up for the iui and paid the deposit. Now we wait about 21 days and hope for the best!!
I cant believe we are back here again! Wish me luck!!
I cant believe we are back here again! Wish me luck!!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Oh wow!
Sorry its taken me so long to update...these past few weeks have been nuts!
I saw the FS. Now I have to say it was bitter sweet. I think I fooled a part of myself into believing that I will never have to go back to the clinic again. So sitting there waiting, was just....weird. I left the baby at home and braved the feelings. Well first thing the doc says is "where the heck is the baby???" I was shocked! I told her that I felt that the fertility clinic wasn't really an approperate place to bring him to, and she said "nonsense! yes some people might not like it but I want to see the baby I helped you create!!" and proceeded to ask to see pics (which I carry a billion of anyways). That made me feel good, like she actually cared, and I relaxed a bit.
We talked and came up with a outcome. Starting next cycle I am back on the clomid and on a stronger dose then before. I start iui's right away. We will try 3 again and if they dont work, do some tests and try new drugs and go from there. I again was shocked because I wasn't expecting that at all.
So today is O day, on my last natural cycle before trying iui's again. I am excited and nervous for the next few months :)
I saw the FS. Now I have to say it was bitter sweet. I think I fooled a part of myself into believing that I will never have to go back to the clinic again. So sitting there waiting, was just....weird. I left the baby at home and braved the feelings. Well first thing the doc says is "where the heck is the baby???" I was shocked! I told her that I felt that the fertility clinic wasn't really an approperate place to bring him to, and she said "nonsense! yes some people might not like it but I want to see the baby I helped you create!!" and proceeded to ask to see pics (which I carry a billion of anyways). That made me feel good, like she actually cared, and I relaxed a bit.
We talked and came up with a outcome. Starting next cycle I am back on the clomid and on a stronger dose then before. I start iui's right away. We will try 3 again and if they dont work, do some tests and try new drugs and go from there. I again was shocked because I wasn't expecting that at all.
So today is O day, on my last natural cycle before trying iui's again. I am excited and nervous for the next few months :)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Worried.
Holy man am I getting nervous for Monday!
I am so worried about what they will tell me. Maybe she will say I'm too fat (I have gained ALOT of weight since the clomid from before, then pregnancy...) or maybe she will say its too soon, or maybe she will say that I need to do all the testing again. I just wish I knew what to expect!!
On top of it all, I think I also need to quit my job on Monday. That is also freaking me out. Why? I really have no idea.....except then its a reality....I will have no job.
Anyways maybe the quitting will go smoothly, and the doc at the clinic will want to get right down to business, and all this worrying will be for nothing.
Heres hoping :)
I am so worried about what they will tell me. Maybe she will say I'm too fat (I have gained ALOT of weight since the clomid from before, then pregnancy...) or maybe she will say its too soon, or maybe she will say that I need to do all the testing again. I just wish I knew what to expect!!
On top of it all, I think I also need to quit my job on Monday. That is also freaking me out. Why? I really have no idea.....except then its a reality....I will have no job.
Anyways maybe the quitting will go smoothly, and the doc at the clinic will want to get right down to business, and all this worrying will be for nothing.
Heres hoping :)
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