IUI TODAY!!!

Well we did it....now we wait. I dont know how I'm going to be able to hold off from testing the next 2 weeks. Fingers crossed!

Rant!

Ok I need to rant!!!
My wonderful and amazing and sensitive and caring and understanding and loving and considerate SIL is pregnant AGAIN!!!!
She knows of my struggles. She knows what we are doing now. And she calls me up and says this "I'm pregnant again and know this is a miracle that was ment to be, oh how I love this baby. Its too bad you dont know the love of your second child"
Ok first THIS IS HER 12TH PREGNANCY! 12! Not 1, not 2....12! And second I am working on having the love of my second child thank you very much! I'm sorry that DH and I cant just make love and have a baby as a product of that love. No....I'm sorry that I have to plan this out, save the money, lay on a cold table, sit on pins and needles for 2 weeks and then try to be strong when it doesn't work out- again.
Then she proceeds to say "well if it doesn't work out theres always lots of babies in Haiti"......Ok my heart just breaks for what is happening there right now. And it breaks even more for the poor children there....but adoption isn't like going and buying a new pair of shoes!! I'm not going to go and just "pick" a child. Are you kidding me??!! If I am struggling with the idea of IF and iui's here, I'm pretty sure its a 100x bigger struggle to adopt a child.....why does she think that would be easier? Why say anything?
She also complained about a lady that she knows that has 3 kids with 3 different dads. Her exact words were "um birth control is cheap, use it"......she has 2 different kids with 2 different dads....please someone explain how this is different. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this at all, but on what grounds does she have to complain about it? And again this is her 12th pregnancy.
She calls like 6 times a day to 'brag' about her being pregnant. I cant take it anymore. I tried talking to her before, I have hung up on her millions of times, and now I just dont answer the phone....but that doesn't stop the texts and e-mails that say "I'm pregnant :) "
I thought I was handling this second time around pretty good so far, but now I am just feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks to you- you know who you are- for bringing me down, in a time when I was doing ok with everything. Its too bad that not all of us can have as perfect lives as you. Enjoy your pregnancy and baby that was made out of love, and please PLEASE stop calling me to complain about it!
And maybe, just maybe one day the second sentence of this post wont be written with sarcasm.

CD 1, am I really ready for this roller coaster ride again?

Well CD 1. I start clomid in 2 more days. I called the clinic to set up for the iui and paid the deposit. Now we wait about 21 days and hope for the best!!
I cant believe we are back here again! Wish me luck!!

Oh wow!

Sorry its taken me so long to update...these past few weeks have been nuts!

I saw the FS. Now I have to say it was bitter sweet. I think I fooled a part of myself into believing that I will never have to go back to the clinic again. So sitting there waiting, was just....weird. I left the baby at home and braved the feelings. Well first thing the doc says is "where the heck is the baby???" I was shocked! I told her that I felt that the fertility clinic wasn't really an approperate place to bring him to, and she said "nonsense! yes some people might not like it but I want to see the baby I helped you create!!" and proceeded to ask to see pics (which I carry a billion of anyways). That made me feel good, like she actually cared, and I relaxed a bit.
We talked and came up with a outcome. Starting next cycle I am back on the clomid and on a stronger dose then before. I start iui's right away. We will try 3 again and if they dont work, do some tests and try new drugs and go from there. I again was shocked because I wasn't expecting that at all.
So today is O day, on my last natural cycle before trying iui's again. I am excited and nervous for the next few months :)

Worried.

Holy man am I getting nervous for Monday!
I am so worried about what they will tell me. Maybe she will say I'm too fat (I have gained ALOT of weight since the clomid from before, then pregnancy...) or maybe she will say its too soon, or maybe she will say that I need to do all the testing again. I just wish I knew what to expect!!
On top of it all, I think I also need to quit my job on Monday. That is also freaking me out. Why? I really have no idea.....except then its a reality....I will have no job.
Anyways maybe the quitting will go smoothly, and the doc at the clinic will want to get right down to business, and all this worrying will be for nothing.
Heres hoping :)

Back we go!

I was told the wait for the fertility clinic wasn't a long one right now, and boy was that a understatement!
My referal was sent in on the second and I see my doc on the 21st! WOW!! It took me 6 months last time.
I am getting so excited to get things underway. I was hoping af would be late this time so that I could start the meds right away...but no she shows 5 days early and now I'm going to have to wait 40+ days. I'm also excited and nervous to see what she says. I hope they dont waste time like they did the first time.

Baby is good, growing like a weed!! I cant believe he is almost 9 months old. Last night I walked into his room to see him sitting in the corner of his crib.....talk about making Mommy alittle misty eyed :) I also think he is getting another tooth. Time just goes too fast!

And lastly I wanted to send a shout out to all you girls who are always here, Liz, SR, and Tania......sorry I have been so long with updating, but as you all know, life is busy!

Here we go again...

Well after 4 cycles of 'ttc' and not getting preggo I went back to the dr. Heres why, my cycles have been 40+ days long and 2 of those cycles I didn't detect an O.
My dr agreed and said he doesn't think I will get pregnant on my own. So off we go back to the clinic and hopefully iui's in the new year. I waiting to hear from them now.
I cant believe we are doing this all again.
I will try to keep this updated.

As for my baby- he is great!!! Growing like a weed. He is 7.5 months and I have been loving every minute of it.
A week ago we came in contact some people with Salmonella and he got pretty sick (spent some time in the Children's ER) but he is much better now. Who knew that was so contagious....