Worried.

Holy man am I getting nervous for Monday!
I am so worried about what they will tell me. Maybe she will say I'm too fat (I have gained ALOT of weight since the clomid from before, then pregnancy...) or maybe she will say its too soon, or maybe she will say that I need to do all the testing again. I just wish I knew what to expect!!
On top of it all, I think I also need to quit my job on Monday. That is also freaking me out. Why? I really have no idea.....except then its a reality....I will have no job.
Anyways maybe the quitting will go smoothly, and the doc at the clinic will want to get right down to business, and all this worrying will be for nothing.
Heres hoping :)

Back we go!

I was told the wait for the fertility clinic wasn't a long one right now, and boy was that a understatement!
My referal was sent in on the second and I see my doc on the 21st! WOW!! It took me 6 months last time.
I am getting so excited to get things underway. I was hoping af would be late this time so that I could start the meds right away...but no she shows 5 days early and now I'm going to have to wait 40+ days. I'm also excited and nervous to see what she says. I hope they dont waste time like they did the first time.

Baby is good, growing like a weed!! I cant believe he is almost 9 months old. Last night I walked into his room to see him sitting in the corner of his crib.....talk about making Mommy alittle misty eyed :) I also think he is getting another tooth. Time just goes too fast!

And lastly I wanted to send a shout out to all you girls who are always here, Liz, SR, and Tania......sorry I have been so long with updating, but as you all know, life is busy!

Here we go again...

Well after 4 cycles of 'ttc' and not getting preggo I went back to the dr. Heres why, my cycles have been 40+ days long and 2 of those cycles I didn't detect an O.
My dr agreed and said he doesn't think I will get pregnant on my own. So off we go back to the clinic and hopefully iui's in the new year. I waiting to hear from them now.
I cant believe we are doing this all again.
I will try to keep this updated.

As for my baby- he is great!!! Growing like a weed. He is 7.5 months and I have been loving every minute of it.
A week ago we came in contact some people with Salmonella and he got pretty sick (spent some time in the Children's ER) but he is much better now. Who knew that was so contagious....

Where do I belong?

Well like I said in my last post we are ttc again. I have been tracking O for the past 2 cycles and its worse then before.
I dont know where I belong with this. DH and I are going to have to go back to the clinic, and possibly have more iui's at the very least.
I cant be in any 'trouble conceiving' areas because I did just have a baby, and I know (from reading other posts to other people) that I have no right to worry about this. I do understand the pain of not being able to have a baby when others can, so I can kind of understand this I guess....but I still dont feel the support you should.
And I cant be in a reg. ttc clubs because I do deal with IF and its very real, and I dont feel like I connect with those people (the ones who get preggo 1st try) on a ttc level.
So this leaves me feeling like I cant talk to anyone about my fears. DH and I are both worried that we wont be able to conceive again and it scares me so much that we decided to try now. I was told that because of my eggs, I might not be able to conceive again, unless we try right away. So here we are, and its really left me sitting here alone. I am ever greatful for my son, and if he's all that we were ment to have then so be it, but I just need to know.
Anyways, I really wanted to send this out into cyber space and get it off my chest.

Almost 6 months!!

Well I have been REALLY bad at updating my blog. Life is going by so fast, there is barely time to smell the flowers and write a post...lol.

Colton is amazing!! He is so good, and growing like a weed. He's a good camper, traveler, and shopping buddy.

He is rolling, sitting (for about a minute before slowly tumbling over), teething, & giggling, and even starting swimming lessons!....I must say this is a FUN age. Well minus the teething part....He is also eating food and weighs 19lbs, and is 27" long!!!! Thats my BIG boy.

So I must be nuts to say this, but we are ready to do it all again. Yup, you read right.....DH and I are ttc again. So far, its a no go :( After I took the clomid the first time I stopped Oing all together, and it seems like its still that way. If nothing happens by Jan, then back to the clinic we go.

My goal, is to stay at home with my babe(s). I might take on some daycare kids....I dont know.

Anyways, I dont know if anyone even checks this thing anymore, but I thought I'd throw a random, quick update out there....

My birth story...FINALLY!

Ok I have a few minutes to write and thought I should FINALLY update everyone on the birthstory.

March 18th- Wed night. We were sitting around watching a movie when I started feeling AF type cramps. They didn't hurt, they were just different. My Mom timed them but it was nothing constant. So we went to bed. They kinda went away.

Later that night I woke up to a few bad cramps and again nothing, so I got up to walk around down stairs. I ended up sleeping on the couch, because it was more comfy.

March 19th- DH left for work and I got up to go pee. This was at 7:30 am. I got to the bathroom and my contractions started. They were strong, but not bad. More then anything I thought I was going to be sick. I went upstairs and knocked on my Moms door and said "I'm having contractions and I'm going to be sick" and walked away. Of course she was like "what??" because I left so quickly. She got downstairs and timed the contractions and they were 7 mins apart.

I called DH and told him to come home. Then went to finish packing my bags. As soon as I started walking around, they got worse, and were lasting longer.

By the time DH got home the contractions were 3 min apart and lasting like a minute and a half. So we left for the hospital. I arrived there at 10:30 am.

When we got there, I thought one of two things....1: I was only like 1 cm dilated and I was being a wuss, and in which case they WERE NOT sending me home....or 2: I was like 4 cms and decided that I was getting the epi, even though I really wanted to do it naturally. It was really starting to hurt. I never thought I was further then that.

When they checked me I was almost 9 cms!!!!! I got to the hospital just before I was going to push! Yikes!! I was also bleeding heavy, so they wheeled me to the delivery room. I was there for like a half hour when I started pushing. Little Colton was born at 1:16 pm. And boy did he come out screaming!!

I never had any drugs and tried the gas but didn't think it worked. I saw him coming out through a mirror, it was so surreal. When he came out I got to help pull him out and right onto my chest. He screamed and screamed....the most beautiful sound ever. They let me hold him for almost 2 hours before taking him to clean him up, and gave me 2 stitches.

My Mom said I had the most shocked look on my face ever. I could not believe that he was here.

I needed a IV because I started hemmoraging, because of all the bleeding and it made me swell like a balloon.

He was tounge tied at birth and had it cut right away. This made for some real problems with latching, which in return made for little milk. We had a hell of a time in the hospital trying to get him to eat, and they kept us for 3 days. He was also really jaundiced, which has cleared up now. The nurses really pushed the breastfeeding thing and made him not want to do it. After 6 LC's and 2 public nurses, I have been pumping for the last 3.5 weeks and supplementing with formula.

In a nutshell thats it. I hope this makes sense. Gotta run again......

Introducing...Colton Micheal Thomas

Well as you may have guessed....our little man has arrived! And I have been so busy since. I dont have much time now to post the birth story (and pics) but will give the major details.

He was born March 19 at 1:16 pm after a VERY fast labour
weighed 7lbs 8.7oz and at 15 days old he now weighs 8lbs 3oz!!!
He was 20"long

Gotta run baby crying!