Well like I said in my last post we are ttc again. I have been tracking O for the past 2 cycles and its worse then before.
I dont know where I belong with this. DH and I are going to have to go back to the clinic, and possibly have more iui's at the very least.
I cant be in any 'trouble conceiving' areas because I did just have a baby, and I know (from reading other posts to other people) that I have no right to worry about this. I do understand the pain of not being able to have a baby when others can, so I can kind of understand this I guess....but I still dont feel the support you should.
And I cant be in a reg. ttc clubs because I do deal with IF and its very real, and I dont feel like I connect with those people (the ones who get preggo 1st try) on a ttc level.
So this leaves me feeling like I cant talk to anyone about my fears. DH and I are both worried that we wont be able to conceive again and it scares me so much that we decided to try now. I was told that because of my eggs, I might not be able to conceive again, unless we try right away. So here we are, and its really left me sitting here alone. I am ever greatful for my son, and if he's all that we were ment to have then so be it, but I just need to know.
Anyways, I really wanted to send this out into cyber space and get it off my chest.
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4 comments:
I understand your fears, I too am worried that we won't be able to get pg again after such a hard time the first time. I've wanted to start TTC now to "give us time" for it to happen if you know what I mean but I'm so afraid to. Good luck and know that you have my support :)
I know how you feel! If you don't mind, can I get this off my chest too: When everyone else went off and did IVF I tried to find a miscarriage support group but couldn't find anything for repeat offenders like myself... now everyone has kids or is pg and I feel bad being the only one left, I'm unable to relate properly and don't want to bring everyone down with my bad luck. I love to hear about everyone else but when someone asks how all the other mommies are doing I feel silly adding my 2cents... I'm also too far away from adoption to join a group for that, and with Dh asking me to try again I'd feel bad anyway, like I'm cheating. I'd hate for anyone else to be in my situation but I miss having the support we used to have.
You can always post here though, or msg me, I'm all ears!
Thanks ladies, I knew you'd understand!!
Zabe- Oh hunny, anytime you want to talk I am so here for you, and I have NEVER thought you were being a bummer, or dragging me down with your luck. Its something you should talk about, and even though I haven't been where you are, I do understand your frusterations to a degree. And yes the support used to be there, and I too feel like its not like it used to be. I'm gonna message you something and I hope it helps....I cant right now but I will try to remember later. BIG HUGS!!
CJ - Never, ever feel guilty for what you are going through or how you are feeling. Infertility sucks - whether its with a first, second or third child. You will always have a strong sisterhood in us - we will always be there to support you.
Hugs,
SR
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