Its so un-fair!

Well there were 2 people I dreaded hearing about getting pregnant.....and they now both are. So to sound like a horrible person here, they are both my cousins. Now one I knew about, and took it really hard when I found out, but the other I found out today. My Mom wanted to be the first to tell me, I know she wanted to spare my feelings, but I still couldn't believe it.

Now the part that bothers me the most is this: She just found out and she's 12 weeks!! How do you find out in the second trimester??? So now I know someone with 1 ovary-pregnant 1st month ttc, My cousin who got pg not even ttc, and now this cousin also not ttc but also 12 weeks along!!! I'm not trying to sound horrible here, or offend anyone, but I cant even ovulate properly and these people are popping out babies left and right.....

I love my cousins, and I try to be happy for them, but this green monster just takes over. And once again finding myself asking, why me? Why do I get to be soooo special??

And to make matters worse, my egg is still missing. I'm praying that I can have the IUI tomorrow.....Please, let me atleast have that. I can get inseminsated like an animal, while the others go on to enjoy their easily come-by prgnancies......